Well David, I’ll be honest with you. I do want the credit without any of the blame.

I have written these things because it is my responsibility, as manager of this branch, to profiligate great ideas.

I can already feel people’s stress starting to melt. I think they’re very excited about paying their respects this way. I have got to make sure that YouTube comes down to tape this.

My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter… where. Or who, or who you are with, or, or where you are going, or… or where you’ve been… ever. For any reason, whatsoever.

My boss is sending me abroad to do a presentation to an international client and I have always been intrigued by all things international. The women, the pancakes, the man of mystery…

Why have I stayed at Dunder Mifflin for so long? Certainly not because of the paycheck. ‘Cause I could be making more money as a doctor, or a professional athlete. I think it’s because they respect me. A boss that will not fire you, even though you just tell him off… right to his face… over the phone. That’s respect.